2005 has shut its door.
It had been a rough year for me. Almost callous in every way. But I am thankful for the experiences.
My family had our fair share of woes. A little one left us one unexpected morning, my lonesome uncle passed on in his coma, my cousin had her miscarriage in the midst of festive celebration. We had a close shave with my granddad being very ill for a while, which gravely, but silently affected me.
It was also the year when I finally got up and left my long relationship. I wrote the post dated below …
Monday, October 11, 2004
Is it possible that you just stop loving some people that you thought you always will love?
Because I think I just did.
And I only did something about it long after my revelation of that. Imagine all the time I had lied to myself and the relationship. I still get teary eyed over it. I still think of him every single day after the separation, and he is never ignored in my prayers to sleep at night. I still walk through the streets and get reminded of familiar articles that bear some reminiscences of what we used to be.
In 2005 I was jobless for half the year. I had troubles paying for the cheapest things I needed, and my bills piled up and took months to clear. I had Shahreil to share my worries and frustrations, but there was always a blessing in every misfortune. Together, we ended up in the best ever fleeting job wagon called ‘Krayon’. I thank Fadila for that.
But now both Shahreil and I are finally officially employed (though the whining never ends).
I thank God I get paychecks at the end of every month, and I have a boss that never fails to make me feel small and stupid. I thank God I have another boss who does the total opposite in his own irksome way. There is always some sense of balance in this world, I suppose.
In 2005, I discovered new dimensions to my friendships. This is hard to explain, but I guess its enough that I can understand this on my own.
So goodbye bad year.
To all that had given a shit about me, I thank you for loving a person in the times she hated herself.
